I have a childhood friend. I call her "Fairy Blue". Just like the name, she's a fairy with blue as her main color. Her body is smaller than her other friends, but I know that her heart is much bigger than any other fairy I know.
We've known each other since I was still a kid. Actually, we're at the same age, though there are several adjustments in her fairy world. That's why it's always nice to watch her growth because I can picture myself in her as well. I've known her when she's in her lowest until when she's starting to stand by herself.
Like what I said before, that her heart is much bigger than any other fairy I know. Because it's just..., so big that she absorbs all the emotion around her into her heart and feels it as if it's her own emotion. She's afraid that she'll be hated by her other fairy friend, so she always bottles up her own feelings.
"It's okay if I feel hurt, as long as I'm not the one who hurt the other," as she said that time when we met up in my room. "Because I don't want to make my friends feel sad, or worried. Being in pain is the worst, I feel it, that's why if using a mask to cover my feelings can help them not getting hurt, I'll do it."
"But make sure that your feelings also matter, okay?" She looked at me when I said it, so I continued, "It's okay if you want to be like that, it's okay to protect the other's feelings. But in front of me, just be yourself with all your feelings, with mask off. Promise?"
I can't imagine how much pain she felt all this time, because after that, she cried hard as I pat her little shoulder.
Although she looks like having a fragile heart, actually she's a strong-willed fairy. Her dream is flying as far as she wants. That time when she couldn't use her wings yet, she used to look up at the sky, watching the wide blue sky.
"What are you looking at?" I asked her because she had been looking up for minutes.
She looked surprised, but then she said, "I always admire the blue sky. I imagine myself flying across the sky and visit as many places as possible. I think if I can spread my wings, I can spread the smiles to the others as well!"
Yes, she has that strong will, and it makes her become an idealistic fairy. But the funny thing is, she's so idealistic and stubborn about the values she holds but will always put forward the feelings of others more than her own feelings. I wonder why. She always thinks carefully to say things that won't hurt others even though she's hurt, but at the same time, she still upheld her own values.
Well, there are still a lot of things about her that I can't share here. She's a shy fairy yet can be extremely talkative about things she loves, likes to think a big and wide yet forgets the little things, wants to hold as many feelings as possible from the others yet overwhelms with her own feelings.
I wonder why I don't mind her personality, because I always can be 100% relate to what she feels. Of course there are a lot of things I dislike about her, but I can't really reprimand her because I can feel what she feels.
I wonder why...
Maybe it's because she lives inside my heart.
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30 Days Writing Challenge Day 1: Describe your personality, completed
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